working moms againstguilt

Thursday, August 13, 2009
The Hazy Daze of Life with a Newborn

Hi, remember me? Susan? Yeah, I haven't posted here in a while. But I hope you'll cut me some slack -- I had a baby five weeks ago.

Since then, I've been floating in the foggy ether of newborn parenthood. You know, only a couple of hours of sleep at a time, constant feedings and diaper changes, barely enough time to take a shower and brush your teeth ... and this time, I have a 3-year-old to take care of, too. At least I still have my good friend and sitter Karen to help out with her.

During most weekdays, I take care of the baby, sleep when I can, and attempt to get something done around the house (usually lucky just to empty the dishwasher). I had forgotten how needy newborns are. They just need, need, need ... to be held, fed, changed, loved. Meanwhile, Cassie gets to play and have fun with Karen and her kids, rather than hanging out with me and the baby in front of the TV all day. I feel so grateful for that. She's handling the transition to big sisterhood beautifully, and I'm pretty sure it's due to her time away from the newborn haze.

Evenings and weekends, it's two kids for the price of one mom, and I just try to get by from hour to hour. I hardly get anything done, which drives me crazy. And I've been absolutely horrible about communicating via email, phone, blog or anything else. All I can do is keep my kids alive and hopefully not crying.

I hope that in the next month or two, the haze will begin to lift. I know this is a precious, special time and all that, but it's also hard to feel so disconnected from my "regular life" and I look forward to being more out in the world again soon.